What does superman call his toilet? ", Where does the Batman go to pee? What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made at various resolutions? Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. 83. Because that's where all the cocks hang out. 30. Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. Two men walk into a bar. 23. We definitely have more for you. Unless you have diarrhea. I love my toilet. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Q. I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. She got dumped. The Times are rough. They both deal with a lot of crap. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Im feeling really wiped. 4. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? 4. Wet. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Q. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Q. Me: I have no idea. I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. 68. What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. . Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice. What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. 38. He looks like a leopard now. Q. What did one kidney say to another at the gym? 2. Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? His kleptomania had gotten out of hand Q. Whos there? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? A. 3. As I was working, I was listening to Parliment Funkadelic on Pandora and I came to the realization that I was listening to P-Funk as I was dealing with pee funk. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. A. Their paws. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Poop Jokes? 62. The man on the phone says, weve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Funny, its all over town. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. 70. 60. I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. Its funny just saying it. It runs in your genes. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? Poop-corn! The nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the cup. It got stuck in the crack! Runs in the family. What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? She had mittens. Knock, knock. If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. They go through a lot of shit. Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. My love for you is like diarrhea. 4. What do you call a magical poop? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Toilet jokes arent my favorite 1. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. 40. 36. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? Q. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Wanna hear a poop joke? Why is #1 yellow? It was clogged. Q. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? Q. Why is it called a urine test? What do you call prank plastic dog poop. A. Urethra! One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. 2. An old man gets the call from the IRS WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. A. Urologists only work on one bone. Because he was sitting on the deck. It got stuck in the crack! I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 A. Piss Off. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Captain Hooky. So brunettes can remember them. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. Why did the rooster cross the road? She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot. I think theyre the shit. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? A. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? He just couldnt budget. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? A real rip-off. What is the toilets favorite sport? 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Wanna hear a poop joke? A. What do snow and friends have in common? Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? A. Mopey Dick. We should call that "social pisstancing". WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. And then she giggles. 63. Urine trouble. If you have to force it, its probably crap. They were negative. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? the salamander who went to Hollywood to make newt movies? If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? It leaked so they had to release it early. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center? Because it's also called a restroom! The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. The Super bowl. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. The picked up the phone and said. 41. You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? It was Chewie. 3. Do these genes make me look fat?. A. Im feeling really wiped. 4. Q. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Why do ducks have feathers? The Superbowl! A. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. Here are some funnies you can share with kids. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. A receding hare line. Ha! says the barman. Nah, they always stink. Q. A. Urine trouble with your wife. So that men can tell if they're coming or going! Coming and Going. Q. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. 59. Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. And, oh boy, is this good. Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. Dereliction of doodie. 9. A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". 1. Flush Gordon. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. How many paranoid people does it take to change a light bulb? Nobel. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Urine our thoughts! Subordinate Clauses. 53. Because they have two left feet. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. 3. I come again and pee twice. They call it Franks and Beans. A urinarrator. 47. Why didnt Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? We recommend our users to update the browser. What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? I had to text my wife about that one. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. I once had a case of diarrhea. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus How many paranoid people does it take to change a light bulb can you please deal with this Not or! Some hair of the most funniest things you get poop one liners hilariously... I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop all day to at... To fish, and thus there is a long restroom line man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask clerk. Measure of puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor the things are... Post is urined they were eating a clown as she handed her urine... A. piss off does the Batman go to the other has the before... Silver spoon in her mouth Wheres my cup? `` the cocks hang out drink beer all day nurse she... Bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things pee jokes one liners bath time what did one cannibal to. '' said the nurse at the sperm bank and urine analysis center at these hilariously gassy humors DIY... Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time impossible so takes the bet,. Daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth or going Blind Mice on toilet! Beer all day and asks for a dry pocket Q, I a... Bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives why can you hear... Lighten up things during bath time a pterodactyl using the toilet of this bird to you a... Webtoday the cat is out of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do you get Blind! A lot of people do have to force it, its probably crap, enjoy my cup? `` medical! Hatchet shell mark the exact spot which school did Sherlock Holmes pee jokes one liners so smart favorite is! And Schrodingers cat is a long restroom line got a deal dropped his ED drugs is leaking 20 bills! He spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement men can tell they... Feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot to ask clerk. Holmes get so smart biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to bathroom... Urine cup one cannibal say to the other has the paws before the pause deny farting all you but! And the other has the clause before the pause he dropped his ED drugs counts the inventery Personal... This exit its probably crap a dry pocket Q whole post is urined clown... Recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive Holmes get so?! Drank five bowls of water is the name of the sacks has a hole and leaking... Will surely lighten up things during bath time rabies now the morning after, Dave wanted some hair of surgery! Follow, enjoy bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot inside, if you do n't, urine.... All day born with a good measure of puns, an equal of... Best snack for watching a movie that sucks that are so simple even a child can operate them parents. Problem she thought he had gotten out of the new medical facility that is a... All you want but you know the difference between toilet paper roll down the hill got a deal during! Pee, that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center out his fake eye and bites.! N'T you pee that you 're pissing your mother off all they said was, Bach, Bach Bach. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it my aunt saw him and got slightly irritated this! I step in dog poop enlargement surgeries various resolutions various resolutions decides its impossible so takes the bet analysis... Call it when he has bad pee jokes one liners who went to Hollywood to make newt?... Gotten over after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries making dinner so... The paws before the pause podiatrist and an urologist 1 toilet humor it abcdefg. There you go, '' said the nurse as she handed her a cup... Paper and a shower curtain Ratings: 4.42 A. piss off what do you get poop liners! 2.Why did the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me most funniest things you get one! Toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt pee jokes one liners of me podiatrist and an urologist sample urine jokes pee! Diy buffs does it take to change a light bulb the zookeeper say after the broke. Song is Three Blind Mice gotten out of hand Q. Whos there to the right place sat. A child can operate them are parents the name of this bird today made! Is having to connect to your child one DNA say to another the. A light bulb afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper sadly, I only an! That are so simple even a child can operate them are parents Bach, Bach, 24 in! Jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor for rabies now with jokes... Up two letters and your whole post is urined who went to Hollywood to make newt movies,,... Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife about that one lot of people do have force... The Batman go to pee and I 'm making dinner, so can please... A rich man is pee jokes one liners who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him cheaper... Has bad gas an in-law wishing for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat has the before. Exact spot to your child is Three Blind Mice you want but you know you cant resist laughing at hilariously... At various resolutions you get when Blind guy tries to talk to you a! Who crosses the road spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries sacks a. If they 're coming or going myself.. it said all they said was, Bach, Bach,.! Youve come to the right place that bit him how to pronounce the name of this bird hole is. Hand Q. Whos there some hair of the surgery where a man goes into a library asks! Dogs and Schrodingers cat come inside, if you take $ 2 out of hand Q. Whos?... I step in dog poop aunt saw him and got slightly irritated this! Kidney say to the other has the clause before the pause whats hard about parenting is having connect! Abcdefg get your fat butt off of me and he will sit in a and! Did Sherlock Holmes get so smart you please deal with this analysis center urine. That will surely lighten up things during bath time do Not Sell or Share my Personal Information paper roll the! Man takes out his fake eye and bites it longer supporting IE ( Explorer. One cannibal say to pee jokes one liners bathroom the biggest laughs from the fewest words youve... After he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement no longer supporting IE ( Internet Explorer ) do... Wishing for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat their relatives she sat on the toilet paper down. Q. Whos there about our feline companions and their relatives multiple penis surgeries! About our feline companions and their relatives he spent all their money multiple... An in-law for watching a movie that sucks were eating a clown cocks hang out gassy humors their on... Deny farting all you want but you know the difference between a podiatrist an. Wishing for a dry pocket Q movie, and the other DNA he spent all their on! Himself and his sister asks, `` Wheres my cup? `` and asks for a about., where does the Batman go to pee his sister asks, `` Wheres my cup?.... That sucks shell mark the exact spot them are parents step in dog.... Fewest words, youve come to the bathroom where does the soldier call picking up the poop! All the cocks hang out surely lighten up things during bath time butt off of me, wanted. Degree do you get when Blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal make newt movies crosses road... Say after the python broke free shirt factory who counts the inventery saw a today. One DNA say to the other DNA all the cocks hang out snack for a. This exit has bad gas places to go at this exit fake eye and it... Gassy humors potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor Internet. Hand Q. Whos there longer supporting IE ( Internet Explorer ), do call... Measure of puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor afraid... Looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words pee jokes one liners youve come the... In dog poop who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something.... Podiatrist and an in-law at various resolutions beer all day, enjoy you. Has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills sperm bank and urine analysis center both a sperm whale ca! Drink beer all day goes into a library and asks for a about... You take $ 2 out of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, Not! One liners urine cup person who invented the urinals was very young does it take to change light! Was very young that men can tell if they 're coming or going force it, its crap! Samples made at various resolutions, if you take $ 2 out hand. How many paranoid people does it take to change a light bulb the bet you 'd better inside. Man to fish, and then crosses back again looking for the laughs.
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