We broke up on a Sunday and whilst I said i thought there was something to fight for he was clear wed made a choice to part ways and that was right. I promise that I am going to do everything in my power to make that a reality for you and I want YOU to hold me accountable to it. Its hard to stay out of sight now if you are active in social media and if you read Chris posts and books, you will find a wealth of information about how to keep him thinking about you. Of course, but he doesnt really need to in order for the NC to work. If the No Contact Period is over and he has not messaged you, what should you do? Told him he didnt act like a boyfriend that cared by the way he was talking . My boyfriend ended our 5 and a half year relationship by saying he wasnt happy. Or on the positive side, hes just busy or he wants you to take your time. He and I work in the same building and I didnt wave at him today and he completely blocked me on socials out of nowhere. It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face. He told me repeatedly he was unhappy with her. But in this period our relation was also not going well. Then you happen upon Chris website and start learning about how you can go about getting your ex back. I said, I preferred ro loan him money myself and he flipped, basically interpreting it as if I rejected him at him time of need. How long do you recommend I do no contact before reaching out? He may have broke it off due to another girl he may have met . When I wanted to work things out he tried but then later retracted and said that the distance wouldnt work out for us since he had moved back to California and I stayed in Oregon. Now, I am not advocating you or anyone else try to convince your ex boyfriend that you found another guy. The relationship was great. Be sure that you are professional in the workplace, but not his friend. YOu did nothing wrong. Im miserable that I have tried to implement NC so many times and doing it yet again. Chris covers this in great detail in his e-books and articles. I said then u were you being nice all these days he says it was cause if your mother she home now. We got on great and were in the exciting dating phase. Im positive hes self sabotaging . Maybe you can address this scenario. N we cut the call. Do you continue to explain why youre ignoring him? What to say? Our minds can race away in all kinds of directions when we start thinking about our boyfriends. So, if he gets angry because he notices youre having fun, and then decides that he will move on too, what do you do? I created this section with the purpose of detailing those reasons so I can hopefully give you more insight into what is going through a guys mind when he commits one of these reasons.. I am confused whether i should move on or wait for him. Besides there are actually a few big advantages to making the first move. So I went out with my friends to keep me busy and he did the same . If after all this time you still think your ex boyfriend is the one for you, then you can revisit. When you couple this resentment with the no contact rule you get what we are talking about here with an ex trying to get back at you. Now, this brings up an interesting question. Think of this process as a restart of a possible new future, not a continuation of your previous relationship. Continue with your NC and do not break it. This can help you in many ways. We stayed in contact for four months and it looked like we would get back together soon. He will notice you and the seeds of attraction can be planted every day. Lets get more realistic and centered! Too often do I run into someone who completely misunderstands the purpose of the no contact rule (again read this article for a refresher.). That means for 30 days you arent going to talk to your ex in any way shape or form. Ok..no reason to panic. I just want to reinforce that it is important to do everything slowly. If you stay strong with no contact, the odds are in your favor that your ex will reach out in time. However, there is one area where we are different and that has to do with communication. What about then? I love and miss him so much, Hey Claire, it is only you who can deicide if you want to move on or not, I am happy to give you advice with whichever path you choose. Defriending revolves around preventing someone from having access to your information and having contact with. You start off with really high hopes that throughout this process he will end up contacting you. Amor, shouldnt we have fun during the no contact rule? No contact via social media. Nothing special just saying he didnt mean to break my heart, it was the last thing he wanted and sending love. It was a rocky one, but the high was worth the pain. In other words, in that massive guide I actually recommend that you are the first one to make contact with your ex after the no contact period. He wouldnt talk to me at first when he found out . Hi, Finally he stopped by to get some clothes and to talk for an hour . Often what happens is the guy figures out why he broke up with his old flame in the first place. All of these social media actions can help you in many ways. That way he will keep comparing you to the new girl and miss you more. So far we have talked about the progression that a guy goes through (in his mind) if he is going to get back at you. Dont remember? Dont allow yourself to be guilted into thinking you should feel miserable. Slowly you are building value in his eyes. Thank you Sincerely. In all, there are 3 legitimate reasons that come to mind. And over time, that will work on his psyche. He got refusal for two times. The greater the love the greater the loss. So take things slow. We cannot always see down the road. Personally, I think men like this arent very good in relationships. Seriously, when you sit back at the end of the day having completed a no contact rule what is it that you are aiming to have accomplished? You were so good at giving me chances, I was free to do anything and everything. And worst, this kind of thinking can cause you to act out on what you are thinking. Maybe you have just started it or maybe you are coming close to your end date. Stay true to the No Contact Period. If he pushes back at you in a negative way, it is probably either because hes still angry over the reasons he broke up with you or hes getting revenge from being ignored. Well, according to studies, it generally takes about 66 days to make or break a habit or create a new routine. Lets get some perspective! Do you remember what I said the main purpose of the no contact rule was? That would be ridiculous, right. This scenario is similar to the first situation in that he may be falling prey to the Grass is greener syndrome. Seriously, they will sit around and cry because he didn't call or text. Should I continue my silence? He said because we arent able to date now we should just leave it and he wishes hed met me after all this was over so we had a proper shot at the relationship. While I would tend to agree with that you are in a very unique situation here in that we are talking about your ex boyfriend. You have a lot of healing and personal discoveries you need to accomplish. . Hes very stubborn. Seriously, they will sit around and cry because he didnt call or text. No contact helps YOU get over it is more like it. The following Thursday I messaged to check in, he replied and said his head was all over the place. Or perhaps a better description is moving forward. It is unlikely he is going to turn up unannounced. I and my love were in a romantic relationship for 8 months. Though, around 9 months together we broke up for 3 weeks because he thought I listened to too many people about our relationship and then we stopped talking to those friends when we got back together. Ok I was fine, being friend working together (both of us could co- founders of a startup) in between 4 years, he left me for a girl, she left him he wanted me back, wanted to marry me, realised he loves me, few months later, he had to end it here, cause nothing can happen hmit is equally oainfull for him, but when I am in front of him, he hugs me, kisses me, fucks me, takes care of me. If your ex boyfriend didnt reply after the second attempt or you want to prepare for that possible outcome, then read this article: What to do when the no contact rule doesnt work. Men are different though. Its sort of a self toxic form of behavior. It was not until the last month or 2 of our relationship when we started fighting. Since that day, for about 2 months, any little thing I did or say ticked him off. We had never argued! I just dont want you to think Im leading you on. Today was the first time I texted him regarding that email. What we are going to be getting into now is the actual ignoring part. Perhaps he just doesnt want a relationship with me. I digressed a bit. 25 Feb/23. I didnt called him again. But it wont be hard for him to figure out the truth on that score. Continued access to information about your ex. Well, that means you should start using it. So lets start off by asking what it is that didnt happen. I want to stop contacting so it gives him a chance to miss me but I am worried he will take it the wrong way. We still talk almost everyday and he says he still considers me his best friend. When a person perceives that they are losing a freedom.something they are use to having.they will behave in a way to get it back. That is the reality. But it can also be your way of influencing the way he thinks about you. But silence. Should You Go No Contact With Your Situationship? I replied the next morning saying I enjoyed it too and said have a good day. Now, I am not saying that everyone with that attitude will get their ex boyfriends back. He may think a lot of things, including that you have possibly moved on. What often happens is that once he learns you are not out there chasing other guys, his little hopes will grow to be larger hopes and that is what you want to happen. Yes, if he does contact you that means deep down there is a part of him that misses you. In y case both damaged by past relationship and on top 2years go I lost my daughter. We have been best friends since high school and during that time, we began dating and it was wonderful. When your ex sends you a friend request on Facebook, you have one of the best signs that your ex has processed the most smothering breakup emotions. Would An Ex Like This Ever Consider A Reconciliation? Here is the deal though. Time will tell how he really feels about things. I know I cheated but I have done nothing but try even tho I got drunk and freaked out . But also talked about how he should have made more effort. However, if he does end up biting the bullet and contacting you in that 21-30 day window that means there is a serious internal battle going on within him. I was trying to let him take it slow . He can be upset he ended the relationship and now he is feeling the loss of you! Hell think to himself why youre doing this.ignoring him. You see, in their mind they feel entitled to a response. Maybe not. I talk with women everyday who struggle to complete their No Contact Period. He is itching to initiate contact, so he's forced himself to apply the no contact rule. The first thing I do is answer my coaching clients (since its common for them to have a lot of questions.) That would just probably push him away and he would have a right to feel angry. Plant those attraction seeds that Chris talks about in all his books. I am finding it very hard to move on. If he contacts me then he contacts me. Please please please let me know whether I am doing the no contact right? In either case, no response is needed from you. Lets stop talking about nightmare scenarios. It could be that they want to keep tabs on you, or they're hoping to get back together with you one day. That means he doesnt want to lose you. You are like planting little seeds that hopefully get rooted in your ex boyfriends mind. And then out of the blue he tells you that if you dont reply and be friends with him, you cant talk to him ever. Day 46 NC and deleted me on WhatsApp. He called me selfish and said u hv always only cared about ur relationship. I am thinking if he would want me then he can call me or text me on whatsapp. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. I guess there is a part of me that hopes by talking to him hell realize how much he misses me and will want to get back together but I am also worried that by talking so much, he doesnt have a chance to miss me. If your ex starts to behave in this manner, it is likely he will eventually change this attitude because often its a spur of the moment reaction. Its obvious he is upset because of what hes been posting on social media. And he will probably show that he doesnt care. I told him I felt hurt and I would have contacted him when I was better. And among the lessons learned, you are told you need to carefully consider the No Contact Rule. Well, one thing we already know is that your ex is extremely stubborn. 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