The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? I really thought you already knew. All rights reserved. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. This one is a bit long. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. 2. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. 14. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. 10. It's quite the accomplishment. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. The hottest single of the year is me. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. "I'm alright, mate". Thank you, it made my day. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. funny response to are you still alive. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Im in a relationship with myself. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Im not single. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! Still, the ghosters ghost on. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Because they are already taking their time. 1. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? . I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Could Be Better. 11. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. 1. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? . funny response to are you still alive. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Mentally? 55. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Not everybody may appreciate them. You might just find one. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. 18. How do you usually respond to the question? Required fields are marked *. 8. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. . The following two tabs change content below. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Thats why Im single. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! 10. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Going strong. Hi! It can be good to just say it how it is. Totally fine! 61. I favour the "How am I what?" Average, I think, that sounds about right. I suggest you do a little soul searching. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". 17. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. 65. 4. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? No? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Opposites attract, right? A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Getting better with every passing second. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Hopefully, youll stay there. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. I'm afraid I can't do that. At minding my own business? 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Im too expensive. You were a young man when you last spoke. 73. 2. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. 69. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Your email address will not be published. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Youre a ground-hugger. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. 80. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Dave Barry (author). You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Chuck Bass? I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. 30. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 3. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. I will leave that up to your imagination. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? I died last week, since then. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Finnish with this conversation! Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. - Anonymous. Does the new one work any better? *sips wine/tea*. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Now I have a much lower opinion of you. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Nowadays, potential mates need money. 71. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. You want to make them laugh, not yell. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Me being single is just a conspiracy! There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? still alive 810 GIFs. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Youll go far someday. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. [*clap your hands*]. 11. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. I'm alive, whoa! You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. 32. Learn more about us here. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . It's best part of the whole movie. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. 78. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. "Hey You, I'm really good. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. 14. Spiritually? So, how does average sound? Scroll down! It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? 6. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. 26. Are you flirting with me right now? 54. I always yawn when Im interested. You may join me, though. Im always there when I need me. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. 9. You speak as if youre not single yourself! My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Are you serious? Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Living an amazing dream. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. 5. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Not bad. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. What do you mean Im still single. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. 15. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. "You know I can do this anytime.". Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! "Any day above ground is a good day. 53. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Im single by choice. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. . But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. 87. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Stop joking! It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. 99. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? In fact, they're taking too much of it. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh.