He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! [after a phone call with his agent] Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Marwood: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Monty: I imagine they're talking to each other. It's society's crime, not ours. He had a weight under his fez. And we want them here, and we want them now! Withnail: This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Withnail: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and f*** off while you're doing it! Clearly a myth. Marwood: Marwood: We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. You shouldn't treat each other so badly. Monty: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Do you like to experience all facets of life? Chin-chin. Rejuvenate. [sticking out his yellowy tongue] I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Outvie him. [to Marwood] The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. [holding him back] That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. It's like Greenland in here. Jesus Christ! I think we've been in here too long. Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! I would say. Marwood: "I f*** arses"? Sod your pheasants! Marwood: The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Withnail: You've got soup. [pointing an eel at him] Scrubbers! Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. You haven't got a chance! And now I'm calling you one. Have another look in that shed. Danny: [reading the note] This doesn't go down at all well. Ah! [leaning out the car window] How can it be so cold in here? Why don't you go back? I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and the West Virginia Hare . I'm not gonna understudy anybody. Danny: I feel unusual. Making an enemy of our own future. Find the exact The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. His sister give him the idea. I had to come. [Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon] 1 likes. Nor women neither. As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Tea Shop Proprietor: withnail and i 96119 GIFs. Danny: It's like great yellow sock. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Withnail: According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. Marwood: What's going on? Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. Withnail: Monty: Here hare here! Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. Do you like vegetables? *Fork it*! Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. Gi' me one in t' knee. Withnail: You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Withnail: I recommend you smoke some more grass. Marwood: It has voodoo qualities. Marwood: Web. When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Irishman: Marwood: Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Something's got to be done. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. Do you grow? [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Marwood: No, no, no, dear boy, you must leave, you must leave. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! No need to get uptight, man. 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this. I'm gonna be a star*! Danny: Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Cake. Something's got to be done. Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? I adore you. I must be ill. Monty: Didn't you hear? Monty: What the f*** are you talking about? Burnt! It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. share. Marwood: He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. You never discuss your family do you? As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! Who f***s arses? Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! I assure you I'm not, officer. You merely imagined it. Withnail: He's an expert. I don't care where you come from! Marwood: No, no, you can't. We've got to get some booze. I'm good-looking. Danny: Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. The only people he converses with are his clients, and occasionally the police. A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints, please. All right here? Go with it. You want working on, boy! You're not leaving me in here alone. It'll pass. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe . Marwood: Murder and All-Bran and rape. We want to get in there, don't we? And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. Nonsense. Change down, man, find your neutral space. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Isaac Parkin: Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie. We might wanna do a film in here. Withnail: Then it was a rodent. Flowers are essentially tarts. "I'm going to pull your head off." He says he wont come in for lunch without an apology. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. Here hare here!' One of my favourite movies. Marwood: Withnail. Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Withnail: We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! We've got to get some booze. What a piece of work is a man. We're incompatible. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. [with his mouth full] You don't understand. We've gone on holiday by mistake. We do it wrong, being so majestical. Eat some cake. Jake: Give me a downer, Danny. Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room. Grab its ring. What have you done to them? What should we do? And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in. Monty: Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. How noble in reason! Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Your desires. Monty: Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. Dealt with them? Have you had any training in the martial arts? It's available on Little tarts, they love it! It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. When I strike they won't know what hit them! Headhunter to everybody. Where's the aspirins? Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? They dont like me being on stage. For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. I'm utterly arseholed. It's trying to get itself in with you. [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] Danny: Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. *You'll all suffer*! Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. Withnail: Withnail: I need at least an hour for lunch., Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Look at us! My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! Withnail: Withnail: I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Man delights not me. Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm? Irishman: 4 Mar. Withnail: Where is he? Goes into court in his kaftan and a bell. Top 65 Best Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy & Success 2023, Top 70 Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 68 March Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 57 Airplane Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 65 Philippine Literature Quiz Trivia Questions And Answers, Top 62 Chemistry Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 63 Biology Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023. Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. Listen, we're bona fide. Withnail: Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. You mustn't blame yourself. Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! Why have you drugged their onions?! Dont be ridiculous. Were incompatible. Time change. Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. Sherry? I don't know what's in here. Withnail: That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. I don't consciously offend big men like this. Withnail: Withnail: The entire sink's gone rotten. [voiceover] Marwood: Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Parkin's been. We're in danger, we've got to get out. How noble in reason! Required fields are marked *. Monty: Especially that pimp! Marwood: Hare. Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. Why trust one drug and not the other? This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. And at the end, it seems Withnail is sad that Marwood is leaving him and regrets his choices. There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? [getting up at the same time] It's like a tide. [pulling back the lace curtain] It's you he wants. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. That's a very good idea. Marwood: Here is the clip. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. you little traitors. How infinite in faculties! Withnail and I Quotes. How right you are, how right you are. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. *I'll show the lot of you*! Quite freaked me at the time. Jake: Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. Well, I'd hardly say that. [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] Withnail: What the fuck are you talking about? I tell you, I've a f*** sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television. Withnail: Monty: Monty: I say, you know what we should do? Keep your bag up. The beauty of the world. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. The only thing you're in that I've been in is this fucking bath! Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share.